Giver of Tasty Goodness, Denier of Sweet Morseled Dreams

An email sent to family while studying:

I feel like a million bucks! I finally have a story for you.
>So I'm in the law building working on this paper, > And I get the munchies ya know? that knawing feeling that tells you ya wanna eat, but not alot and nothing healthy.
> So I go down to the vending machines with my 1.25. Oooh lookie there!
> Hotpockets...yum! Yay! that looks good! only $1.25! they were $1.60 a week ago!
Isn't that cool!


....end dramatic break at intermission....
But that's not just it...oh no there is so much more to the story...

That same frickin machine stole $3.00 from me when I was a 1L.

Yeah, you know the type I'm talking about, with the rotating trays and lil tricky slide door that if you let it slip shut you lose your meal (and I don't mean puke).

Well, once when I was a soft-spoken, shy smooth faced naive 1L; I approached said diabolical machine and let the door slip, thus losing my $1.60 for a sandwich. I immediately put more money in, but that time it stole it! My poor timid 1L body broken to the will of the diabolical heartless rectangular cube of a whore, I began to walk away when I heard someone behind me say, "Hey, it just let me get my Redbull for $0.40! "

I seethed in hatred and have since avoided that dastardly cube of whorish hell.

But today it had a discount hotpocket!

I approached the machine indirectly, so as not to provoke it's wrath, rounding the machine warily...wondering if it recognized me after so much time had passed...for it's products may have changed...but it's soiled steel hull remained unmistakable.

I had changed as well... jaded with the cruelties 2 years on 'the curve', steeled by professors bent upon ignoring my ingeniously insightful comments, my brow, windcalloused by myriads of contrary winds swept against it,r eadied me for this one moment, this final confrontation with the tray rotating vending machine... .

.. I thought this day would come much later in my life, say in May 2008, near graduation...but fate blesses the bold and challenging us, showing us just who we are and what we are becoming-- It was time to see what kind of 3L law student I was.

S. Goble of section B, the soft 1L faded into the mist behind me as I heeled on my vintage 2004 NewBalance shoes and squared my shoulders to the hulking foe...giver of tasty goodness, denyer of sweet morseled dreams.

We stood for a moment, face to face, nay 8 inches separated me from its cold plasique panels. The time had come. My time was come. I readied my magazine of quarters, vying for the elusive slot...entrance of remorse and rejection.

Suddenly, I made my move, before nerves could stop me, before the nyphms of cowardice could have their way and flight my feet in retreat...

I punched the 1st quarter into the slot.......
.....a second passed, then another.
..eternity flipped as a card on the universe of chance....
....a hollow ring announced the sting of failure. My offering was refused...my card had come up deuce of clubs. Tough luck kid.

I reached to claim my denied tithe, bitter that I'd given the machine another opportunity to show me my weakness. touched my quarter in the return slot and slowly slid it out. as I did, I heard the clink of metal on metal..strange, as if the steely hulk had been struck a mighty blow...and discovered that another quarter lie in the quarter return slot! ANOTHER QUARTER...the miserly beast had condenscended to repay .25 of the 3.00 it stole.

It seemed a mocking gesture...made to wring my wrath, relish in my wroth. I, Sam of Cache Valley, would not be so Mocked. I entered the quarter in teh pay slot again, less hesitant this time.... cling!, ...clink!, cling! --registered in the return slot. Could it be? I'd struck another blow!...my second .25 offering was met with a .75 concession from the coin return!

Surely the beast wasn't mocking me now...but was offering a settlement? .75 for me to abate my hunger and leave it be...

I, hot with revenge and high with success, was not so inclined...So I entered another quarter....cling! .25 for .25, hmph. So it is, hulk of heavy hearts...you're will is not broken...but I shall have my meal!

another quarter: cling,...clang!, chink!
another: Chink!, clang!
ANOTHER!, for we shall be so bold as to press our advantage upon the miserly embassary of Law School's injustice!Clink!, Clank! MORE!

...Sweat beaded upon my forehead as my earnings mounted. 2.00, 2.50 then $3.00! The Iron Dragon sloughed quarters like scales smitten by the valiant courage of a knight.

That's right foul beast of profit, give me my own $3.00, plus interest! I so demanded. clink!, clank!

I tell this tale far from the machine, awash in my earnings. For upon one fatefull midday...I battled the bad banker, the taker of dimes, denyer of dinner and fought the good fight...and have 21 quarters in profit, trophies to my valiance. Pageants to my persistence, glory to my growth. And then I ate my discount hotpocket...for free.

Well back to work, hope ya'll are having a good day!