First it was Peru, then the Mayan ruins in Mexico, then 4 nights in Aruba…and then at the very last minute (read: the day before we were to leave) Royal Caribbean called and offered us a 40% discount on a 5-day cruise if we would fill two of they’re stateroom cabins. I still voted for Aruba. The vote was 3-1. Sage wisdom bowed to tyranny by the masses. Royal Caribbean here me (and my $) come.
It was a lot of fun. But, in retrospect, any of the other options cited above would have been a better bang for the buck. Cruises are for people who just want to relax, people who can’t create their own fun, or youthful vigorous types who just want to hook up with other random captive youths for 5 days. I fit into none of these groups…especially the last one.
It’s kinda like staying in your hotel resort for an entire vacation, except everyone is at the pool and the pool is very small and you just know that the hot tub, ever full of all types of persons, is also full of the same cycling water…gross. The ship, however, is really nice. Our ship was Navigator of the Seas. Probably the equivalent of a 4 star hotel. What seemed like a flat $500 fee soon blossomed into an extremely overpriced, albeit fun, spring break.
I won’t go into all that we did, because, to be honest, besides losing money in a ridiculously unfair casino, climb a rock wall, eat, and avoid giving tips there isn’t that much to do on the boat except eat and go to the bars and clubs. As anyone who knows me can imagine, I am a huge fan of nightclubs (sarcastic tone). Really, they are my element: tons of really loud pop and techno music extolling the virtues of sexuality: My favorites:’ “Get Low”, “Come Baby Come”, “Freak”, “Keep your body working”, and my ‘fave’ “Sexy Back” (Shoot me in the head).
I’m convinced that girls really do like to dance in pop-clubs. I am similarly convinced that non-gay guys don’t and just go there to find girls. The girls dance in formation to protect one another and only the most select men are let through to ‘dance’ in such fashion that one might mistake it for something else. I think that learning how to dance like that, if one is not gay, takes way too much effort if you are just there to meet girls. There are easier, less humiliating ways to defile oneself. Then again, anyone who is accepting a man’s advances in such a club probably doesn’t feel too defiled anyway.
For the record, I ain’t much of a clubber. But the guys I went with are.
Total nights on the cruise: 5.
Guys in our group 4.
Women seduced: 9.
Age range: 18 (maybe) - 36.
→Sam’s count for women = 0…you do the math. (apparently clubbing is really important adaptation the up and coming generation’s reproductive chances).
So, no more cruises for me. But again, it was fun.
I’m convinced that girls really do like to dance in pop-clubs. I am similarly convinced that non-gay guys don’t and just go there to find girls. The girls dance in formation to protect one another and only the most select men are let through to ‘dance’ in such fashion that one might mistake it for something else. I think that learning how to dance like that, if one is not gay, takes way too much effort if you are just there to meet girls. There are easier, less humiliating ways to defile oneself. Then again, anyone who is accepting a man’s advances in such a club probably doesn’t feel too defiled anyway.
For the record, I ain’t much of a clubber. But the guys I went with are.
Total nights on the cruise: 5.
Guys in our group 4.
Women seduced: 9.
Age range: 18 (maybe) - 36.
→Sam’s count for women = 0…you do the math. (apparently clubbing is really important adaptation the up and coming generation’s reproductive chances).
So, no more cruises for me. But again, it was fun.
The second part of spring break was spent in Utah. Gramma and Grampa let me stay the night at their house and we hung out Thursday night.
Nithin and Sakshi came up to Park City to snowboard as part of their break. So I went with them on Friday to Park City Resort. The conditions were slushy and the learning curve was steep/hard. It was only Sakshi’s second time on a snowboard, and I think Nithin’s third.
The result? See below.
The next day I went skiing at Snow Basin with Nithin and Dave Mangum’s family.
One separated shoulder and shattered tooth later, Nithin and Sakshi returned home early from Spring break.
Nithin and Sakshi came up to Park City to snowboard as part of their break. So I went with them on Friday to Park City Resort. The conditions were slushy and the learning curve was steep/hard. It was only Sakshi’s second time on a snowboard, and I think Nithin’s third.
The result? See below.
The next day I went skiing at Snow Basin with Nithin and Dave Mangum’s family.
One separated shoulder and shattered tooth later, Nithin and Sakshi returned home early from Spring break.
The rest of the weekend was spent in Logan, where Mom sluffed Easter Sunday church with the famous line, “I know the story, let me know if it changes.” End of conversation.
Got beat by Cole in Guitar hero.
And Pete, Bouk and I fouled each other for about 60 minutes playing basketball in Pete’s backyard…Peter is now considering replacing the airtank in his garage with one containing pure oxygen, as a precaution.
Got beat by Cole in Guitar hero.
And Pete, Bouk and I fouled each other for about 60 minutes playing basketball in Pete’s backyard…Peter is now considering replacing the airtank in his garage with one containing pure oxygen, as a precaution.
3 comments:
You are way to funny, and spoiled and to smart for me! You crack me up and I loooove reading your blog. I can't believe all the places you have been....you are the ultimate traveller. You are going to make one girl super lucky!!! You need me as a travelling partner, and Maggie, Navy, Jack & we can't forget Lizabeth! :)
PS I despise cruises as well. It must be a goble thing.
stick it, I am going to cut your hair!
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